Narcissism of a sort

I've been blogging for over two hours on singleness and the result has been numbing. No matter what I write there is a theological hammer that hits me in the head to say that my pain isn't justified. There are so many that have legitimate hurts and concerns. The wife who's struggling in pregnancy and home, but continues to inspire. The elderly in the convalescent home that feels fear thick and has no one to cry to. The migrant worker constantly wondering if INS will catch up or disease will overtake his child. So much real pain. The conclusion is clear, I should not feel what I feel.

Peace, contentment, joy. That's what it's supposed to be about. Worship, praise, loving. That's what you're supposed to do. Beauty, peace-making, communion. That's what you're to instill. But what happens when you've tried for years and the theology can't break through the experience? You can try redefining success or you can take responsibility, but either course seems to lead to the same place. I know it's impossible to come to a conclusion on something like this. I guess it's just venting in the end. And it's two in the morning, so perhaps later in the day will be unique and different...